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Life Of The Lorigans » Blog Archive » Goofing Off In The Doc’s Office

Goofing Off In The Doc’s Office

Written by Pat on April 24th, 2008

Shae and I had our third visit to the doc today and everything is still good. There are still two and apparently they’re doing fine. Now that we got that out of the way, here’s a recap of our visit.

Just for the hell of it, we actually got to the doctor’s office early for our appointment this time. The first thing we noticed when we got to the office was that our nemesis couple was there. Not only has this couple had the appointment before us every time we’ve seen the doc, but they’re having twins too. Since they finish their appointment right before us, they always seem to get the slot right before us for the next visit. It’s a vicious cycle. We hate them. Maybe one of these visits we’ll actually talk to them and become best friends, but I doubt it.

Thanks to our favorite couple getting in to see the doctor before us, Shae and I had about a 45 minute wait in our little exam room. All I can say about our wait is that there is no way Shae and I are anywhere near mature enough for this whole kid thing. Our wait included laughing hysterically at my farts, analyzing posters of the female reproductive system, and whispering like we were in a library. We aren’t even mature enough to handle a poster with the term “hypogonadism” on it. Every time it sounded like our door was opening we both jumped and got really guilty looks on our faces like we just got caught with our hands in the cookie jar. It was like we were in detention or something and we were scared the teacher was going to walk back into the room and catch us talking. Also, we discovered that apparently they make a chewable birth control pill now. That information might have been useful several months ago. I’m thinking they might want to move that advertisement out to the lobby. Basically, now you can go straight from Flintstones vitamins to the pill (“We’re the Flintstones kids. Ten million strong…And growing!”).

Eventually the doc got to us and it was time to take a look at the kids, but first we got to listen to the heartbeat(s). When I tell this story to my children I’m sure hearing their heartbeats will be a huge life-changing event, but for now it just sounded like a fast heartbeat. After we were done listening we got to see the twins again. If you look at the pics, you can actually see Baby A pretty well (head at the left, knees up). Our doctor drew her own diagram below the pic to help you guys out. Baby B wasn’t quite as cooperative (no surprise there, according to Shae “B” is the one who’s always flipping me off) and is supposedly sitting cross-legged. I’ll take the docs word on that, but she drew another picture to help out.

Finally, Lunchbox made his first sacrifice for the babies this weekend. We were at Petco picking up a few things on Saturday and the Humane Society was there with their “Adopt Me” pets. You know what they had? A baby yellow lab puppy. If not for the two little weights sitting on Shae’s bladder I think there’s about a 99% chance that LB would have gotten a new playmate. Oh well, I think he’ll live.

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