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Life Of The Lorigans » Blog Archive » Baby Math
 

Baby Math

Written by Pat on August 16th, 2008

Over the past few weeks Shae and I have attended a couple of baby-related classes (which I’ve already written about), and they’ve thrown out a few facts and figures. I thought I’d do the math on some of these and share.

  • According to our Baby Care Basics class, newborn babies go through about 10-12 diapers a day. Since these kids are mine it’s probably safe to assume they’re going to be closer to 12 a day. So, with two kids that means these little things are going to use 24 diapers a day. You know how many that is a week? 168! A month (we’ll use 30 days)? 720! What the hell?!?! 720 diapers a month? Crap. Literally.
  • Towards the end of the Childbirth Prep class we were informed that babies should be fed 8-12 times a day. Because it makes math easier, we’ll feed our kids 10 times a day. Each. So 20 times a day a baby is going to be latched onto wifey’s boob(s). Wow.
  • Also at the Childbirth Prep class we learned that the average baby sleeps 13 – 17 hours a day. I’m all for more sleeping so this isn’t one of the scary facts. I’m assuming my kids are going to sleep 17 hours a day because it makes me feel better.
  • Something doesn’t add up here. If babies sleep 17 hours a day, how the hell can they eat 10 times a day and still have time to mess up 12 diapers? Even assuming they multi-task and take care of the diapers while sleeping and eating they still seem to have a pretty busy day. No wonder kids these days are over scheduled, they’re overbooked the day they pop out.

We haven’t posted a picture of pregnant Shae lately, so we took another one yesterday. I think she’s gotten a little bigger since last time we posted a pic. Let’s just say Shae + (2 babies * ~32 weeks) =

As you can see in the second pic, Shae’s shirt (thanks Mom!) has two very true messages. There are twins in Shae’s belly, and her twins are moving south.

Finally, it seems like everyone nests differently. Some clean, some get the baby room ready, and some make new mirrors for the master bathroom. You can guess where Shae falls.

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